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Hired goons? [05 Feb 2009|05:47pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | Dance Commander - Electric Six ] I've been meaning to write some movie reviews for a few weeks now. God knows why I kept putting it off, I just chalk it up to apathy. This is important though, because they're for two really good movies and I should share them with you. Even if it's too late, you can still have the common sense to rent them when they're out on DVD. First, let me tell you about a little movie called Gran Torino. This is about a man who doesn't fit into modern society and doesn't really care to. He's a man who grew up in a different time and will forever hold onto his beliefs and values. He's a man who sees the world changing around him and is disgusted by it in a way that I really understand. Between his selfish, patronizing family and the fact that he's the only white (racist) guy left in the area, he has a lot to be upset about. Clint Eastwood gives a solid performance as Walt Kowalski, and aging war vet living in a neighbourhood that's slowing falling victim to dilapidation and gang activity. After he catches the neighbour boy, Tao, trying to steal his car, under pressure from his gang member cousin, Walt becomes involved in Tao's life, and that of his family. Unfortunately, it also results in him getting caught up in his problems, which lead him to confront the people who are making things difficult for Tao and the other people in the area. Most people think that Eastwood doesn't have a lot of range in terms of the roles he can pull off, and I can see where they're coming from. He's well-known for the rough-and-tumble, grizzled hard ass personality, and it's no different here. It's still a very subtle role though. You may think that he's just angry for the hell of it and will just solve his problems with guns, but he plays a more complex character here. A lesser movie would have a man like Walt learn a lesson and become more humane and tolerant by the end of the movie, but he doesn't change and he doesn't have to. He shows compassion and makes a difference without ever letting go of what's important to him. I thought this was a wonderful way to handle the character because it allowed to movie to stay away from an obvious gun fight over the neighbourhood and resolved problems throughout the movie in a much more intelligent, yet suspenseful way. This movie was an absolute pleasure to watch, free of cliches and predictable plot twists. Don't let first impressions by Eastwood fool you, he's capable of much more than some people give him credit for. Mike gives this movie: 9/10 Next we have Taken, starring Liam Neeson. He play Bryan Mills, a recently retired government agent, tracking down his daughter who buggered off to Europe for the summer with her friend (under false premises) and got kidnapped due to her own stupidity. With help from some friends he used to work with, Mills determines that he only has four days to find her before he loses track of her completely. He then proceeds to beat his way through everyone in the organization responsible hoping to run into her eventually. There's not a lot to say about this movie because it's a pretty standard action movie. I appreciated that there were no fights or shoot outs, and only one reasonable car chase. In fact, the pacing throughout the whole movie was really great. Nothing dragged on and all of the less relevant scenes were nice and short. You really get a sense of him as a government agent good at quickly taking people out of commission, as opposed to kicking in a door and just shooting everyone from behind some cover. However, the best part if Liam Neeson and his spectacular acting job. A lot of people may not agree, but to hell with them. Liam Neeson is a fantastic actor. He has a great toughness to him, but can show more gentle and caring emotions very well too. He brought every aspect of this character out extremely well and made the movie a lot better than it would have been without him. Mike gives this movie: 7.5/10 post comment

Tis the season for layoffs and vandalism [06 Dec 2008|11:45am] [ mood | good ] [ music | Dance Commander - Electric Six ] I got through the birthday bash last night about as painlessly as I could expect. We went to the Beach and the Honest Lawyer. I still hate bars on weekends, but I was at least able to get some decent drinks and hang out with some people. The Beach didn't really score well with any of them (Jess, her friend/birthday girl Cait and her boyfriend Rick), probably because there were a lot of old men there to see the girls dressed up for the Sexy Santa event, which I don't mind telling you aroused me greatly. So if a night like this ever comes up again we may not have to worry about going there. And the Honest Lawyer seemed to make them happy, which is good because it's my favorite bar. I find that it gives me the perfect balance of atmosphere, good food and drink and things to do (i.e. pool, air hockey). So it's likely we'd go back there again. So now the night is over with, everyone had a good time, Jess is happy with me and I can enjoy my weekend now. A while ago I picked up Chrono Trigger DS, another remake of an old SNES game. That system was known for having some exceptional games that have really withstood the test of time, such as Chrono Trigger. I'm hoping this is becoming a big trend and we'll start seeing more in the future. I'm more impressed with Neverland Card Battles though. It's a strategy game where you use cards to summon units and casts spells and such. It's a pretty unique combination that I've really liked, but it's also great because you really have to plan out smart strategies in battles to gain advantage and fuck over your opponent. It's one of the few games where I don't mind getting my ass handed to me because all I have to do is adjust my deck for the situation and get back into it. Unfortunately, it's one of those obscure titles that will be forgotten in no time and never be heard from again. Thanks to obscurity though, I got it for $20, so who I won't bitch. Finally, I have a movie review. AS part of our recent anniversary celebration, I took Jess to see Bolt. I won't type around the bush and leave you guessing. I really liked it. It's about a dog who has superpowers and uses them to help his owner rescue her father from a criminal mastermind. The only thing is none of it is real. Everything that happens is just a TV show, and the twist here is that Bolt thinks it's all real. The director goes through extraordinary lengths to make Bolt think it's all real in order to get the best possible performance out of him. Bolt winds up escaping because he thinks his owner is in danger, and he goes all over trying to save her. That's all I'll spoil for you because by this point you either would like to see it or you have no interest in it at all. I really liked it though, and if you like a silly little cartoon movie from time to time then I'd recommend it. It's cute and imaginative and different, which is a nice change of pace with all the shitty movies out there I wouldn't even show to lab monkeys. It has a lot of the usual Disney themes of friendship and togetherness. I'm worried the president of Disney has no friends to be honest. It's presented so well though, I still really enjoyed it. Mike gives this movie: 9/10 post comment

Those two bums are having bum sex! [24 Nov 2008|07:17pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Run For Your Life - Mana Khemia: Alchemists of Al Revis ] I found a really great way to pass the time at work; books on tape, or mp3s if you want to be technical. Don't get me wrong, I'm not just slacking off there. I've been working hard and I keep moving. I've already lost a few pounds even, which I'm pretty happy with for just three weeks of work. No, the challenge here is keeping your mind occupied while you go about doing the same things over and over again. Granted, there's a lot of shit to clean there and it all gets really dirty really fast. It just wears down your mind after a while when all you do it scrub, wipe, spray, vacuum, etc., repeatedly throughout every single day, no matter what object you're applying these actions to. So I downloaded a bunch of Lewis Black stuff, him being my favorite comedian. Among it was his first book, Nothing's Sacred, and I started listening to it today. Not only did it take up about five hours to get close to the end, but it was very entertaining and gave me something to think and laugh about to myself. So as I type I'm downloading his second book, Me Of Little Faith, to listen to at some point. I'm also downloading Moby Dick because I've been wanting to read it for about a year now and don't have the motivation to actually open a book and read. If anyone has any suggestions for really good books feel free to voice your opinions. Reading isn't really my forte so I don't have a lot of favorites myself. I'm starting to get dragged into traditions with Jess and her friends that I'm not sure I want to really be part of. Her best friends birthday is in a couple weeks and two things will happen; Jess, her friend's boyfriend and myself will have to make a cake. Originally it was the other two that would make a cake for the one who's birthday was coming up, but now that I'm a part of Jess' life I'm obliged to be there for her sake and to show her friend respect. Second, we'll be going downtown to party and drink. Of a fucking Friday. If you know me you know that I'd rather run a carrot peeler down my arm than go downtown on a Friday night. It's not that I have a problem with these two (Rick and Cait, for future reference), it's just that we're not really good friends yet. We know each other and we get along, but I'm not close to them like Jess is. Yet now I'm drawn into these traditions, and I will be whenever it comes up with any of their birthdays. I can handle Jess' since I'm dating her and all, but I'd rather do things myself. It just bugs me because I'm expected to take part or else it looks like I'm just being selfish and don't want to associate with them. I have to go downtown because otherwise I'd be leaving Rick with two annoying drunk girls all night, and they get very annoying when they're drunk. And I have to help make cakes and go out to dinner and make preparations for people who I'm not exactly friends with yet, and if I don't I make Jess feel bad and I look selfish. I understand that there's very little I can do about this. This comes with dating someone. If you have a reasonably healthy relationship you become a part of each others lives. I'm just a little pissed that the only alternative would make me look like a bad person. I'll say this; my birthday better be pretty fucking good to make up for all this. I should be getting my first check on Friday too, so spending money won't be an issue ever again. I'm starting by getting Jess' family a $100 gift card for a restaurant they like (don't know which one yet). Despite a few annoyances, they've done a lot for me, they've accepted me, and her father even gave me a Goddamn job. If I did any less I'd be a fucking tool. Second, I'm buying myself a few games, just as a little treat for myself that I think I really deserve. Next, I'm taking Jess out for a belated six-month anniversary celebration. Anything left after all this from here on out is just walkin around money for my own amusement. I'll likely put away a bit here and there, but I don't need it for anything at this point in my life, so let the good times roll! post comment

The East Windsor Spooky Welfare Scare House! Do you dare enter and go on welfare? [05 Nov 2008|11:32am] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | The Queen is Dead - The Smiths ] I'm only two days into the new job at Rapid Delivery so far, but I absolutely love it. It's the best and most rewarding job I've ever had. Here's why. 1) I can make my own hours. A typical schedule for me would be to go in for two full days throughout the week, and to go in for a few hours for the other three days. This can vary a bit depending on how much needs to be done and how fast I work. I'm free to go in any hours I want though. I went early yesterday morning so I could see Jess for the rest of the day, but today I'm not going in until 3:00. Even with an eight hour day I could start at noon. As long as I don't slack off like the last guy, it doesn't make any difference to them. 2) All the money I need. I'm making $11/hour while working a minimum of twenty-eight hours a week. That's plenty of cash for me right now. Plus, I can work a few extra hours during the week for good measure. It may even give me enough to move out with Sabo, whenever he gets around to it. 3) Simple work. I don't have someone telling me what to do all day, I'm not on any kind of schedule, and I don't have to deal with anyone there. I'm free to clean how I see fit and I can just be by myself with my own thoughts, which is my favorite thing about a job like this. 4) I'm going to get it great shape doing it. I'm constantly moving around, crouching, kneeling, pushing, lifting, etc. As time goes by I'm going to end up losing a bit of weight, building a bit of extra muscle and increasing my stamina. Plus, I ride my bike to work, which will only help more. I'd say this is a nice little bonus. The only thing I really have to adjust to is the dust and grime I get on me. I breathe in a lot of dust and I get absolutely filthy by the end of the day. I don't mind it for the most part, it just makes cleaning up afterwards a bitch. Plus, I see a lot of black gunk come up in my mucus, which freaks me out a bit, but doesn't really surprise me. I just have to get used to working around it and doing what I can to keep myself protected from it. So soon enough I'll finally have some money I can start throwing around again, so I'll be ready for some nights out. Even if we're out late, since I can go into work later the next day. It's a tiring job though, so there will be times when I'm exhausted or when I just want to get some sleep, so try to understand if I don't want to be out too late. I hate being a party pooper, and I'll try to go with the flow as much as I can, but I only have so much endurance. post comment

Missing child? Indian Columbo is on the case! [25 Oct 2008|09:07pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | Unhappy Birthday - The Smiths ] My job search is finally taking a turn for the better. Here are three reasons why. 1) I had an interview at Dollarama Yesterday. This wasn't so great because the "interview" consisted of five people filling out a quick form and being sent off. What they're doing is hiring seventy or so people to help them (the current Dougall location) move to a new location (near the Wal-Mart on Dougall). After that, there's a chance they'll keep on a few of them to work indefinitely. It's not much, and I have no guarantee of getting anything out of it, but it's something to keep some hope alive. 2) Gilligan's just called me about a resume I dropped off there, like, two months ago for a night server position. I have an interview for that on Wednesday at three (just as a reminder to myself). I'm not sure if I have it in me to do a server job, but I can learn and I'll be sure I'm as ready as I possibly can be. Not only do I love Gilligan's, but I love working shifts later in the day. Plus, if I get it, it can work around my third thing. 3) Jess' dad, the manager of Rapid Delivery, is offering me a part-time cleaning job there because; a) He knows I'm a good worker from some work I've done for them around their house b) He knew I was in need of a job c) He actually likes me and has accepted me into the family thus far I'll be going in two days a week cleaning place. AND I can go in whatever two days I want, as long as I spread them out throughout the week a bit (to make sure I the place is actually dirty again when I go back). AND I'm free to go in whatever hours I want, as long as I put in eight hours each day and get my work done. Plus, on the side he'll have me driving a forklift to help him out from time to time, since he can't drive them, and doing whatever other odd jobs may pop up. It's $11/hour and I can expect to work about twenty hours a week, give or take. The best thing is, this job is a sure thing, unless the place burns down or something. The guy who was doing it before got his two weeks and I'm set up to take over. Fuckin' eh! So at the very least I'll be working at Rapid and earning roughly $200 per week. That'll ensure that I can finally have some money to throw around. And if I can get this job at Gilligan's too I'll have enough money to move out with Sabo whenever he gets around to it. Then we'll be free to have gay sex as much as...I mean, watch the game and talk about chicks with a bunch of other manly men! GRRRRR!!! On the subject of moving out, it's become irritatingly clear that my dad doesn't want me to move out. I've had a good run living here. I've had a lot of freedom to do pretty much whatever I want, as long as I don't break the law or burn the house down or anything. They never charged me rent. I can come and go as I please, eat whatever I want, and they've always helped me out when I need it. And in exchange, I help keep the house running smoothly, these days more than ever. My dad doesn't want to be an "empty nester" and doesn't really see why I should move out right away. He was partially kidding when he first said he, but it told me he would fix up the old boarding house in the back for me to live it, since no one has lived there for years. I have to look at it from my point of view though. Moving out means I start establishing my life again. I could move out with Sabo and have a roommate I actually like having around, while splitting the rent and making things ten times easier on each of us. Jess could stay with us a lot and have a much easier life, seeing as she has to come here from Amherstburg almost every day for either school or work. And it would just be kind of cool to finally be out of here and change my life a bit. Not that I have anything to complain about here, it's just about time for me to move on. Things probably won't go as well around here without me. My parents are getting old and need more help around the house, running errands, etc. That's just the price I'll have to pay though. I guess I'll see what happens Wednesday. Wish me luck, everyone. post comment

Orange vests are for pussies [22 Oct 2008|11:39am] [ mood | content ] [ music | The Thin Wall - Ultravox ] This one is for all you fuckers who watch CNN and Fox News and get your political opinions fed to you by Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly. Twats. Sabo, Jay and myself saw W last night to find out if Oliver Stone could redeem himself after that coiled pile, Alexander. He did not. I don't need to tell you what it's about. It just goes through Bush's life (as seen by Oliver Stone), alternating between the present and various parts of his past and leading up to his presidency. For the most part though, this is an interpretation. No one knows for sure what went on in these meetings. No one can say with certainty who was opposed to the war or to what degree. This is an interpretation by a man who's trying very hard to be creative and thought-provoking with his movies. Some things we know for sure. We heard his speeches, we saw some documents, we heard the claims. That's in there and we can't really argue with that. The rest of it though, is just what Stone felt like saying. He doesn't know what they talked about in their meetings, but he makes up some dialogue. And he doesn't know how some of them really felt about the way deep down, but he makes them voice their opinions. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. You just can't go in expecting a fact-based mockumentary that gives you all the details. I didn't, I just don't care what Oliver Stone thinks happened, or wanted to happen, or whatever. My problem with this movie is that it felt like watching a two hour episode of Saturday Night Live that's all about Bush, with no audience or laugh track. It was like a political satire, which is a problem because it's supposed to be a serious movie. It didn't help that the acting was really overdone. Think of some teen drama with really bad acting (i.e. Smallville) and put it in a political setting. That's what it felt like to me. And it didn't help that occasionally Bush was on screen mispronouncing words and not taking his job seriously while wacky music played. The movie tries very hard to be taken seriously, but you can't believe it because everything is either unproven and open to interpretation or a fucking clown moment. This isn't a movie that makes Bush look bad. He may come off as a little silly or unfocused, but not bad. This is a telling of his life from a man who doesn't know shit. If you're one of those people who thinks that he's stupid just because he mispronounced some words, you'll think this is funny. If you think he's a good president, you'll think this is a compelling movie. If you're a recent victim or cranial drill intrusion, you'll like the pretty colors and moving pictures. Or if you just liked Oliver Stone's recent movies, you'll probably have some interest in this. But if you fall under any of these categories in the first place you should really consider dying of really painful cancer. Mike gives this movie: 4/10 4 comments|post comment

West Windsor Coalition of Complaining Welfares [10 Sep 2008|09:27pm] [ mood | relaxed ] [ music | Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division ] I feel pretty good lately. I'm not entirely sure why, but I do. Life hasn't changed much. I'm still looking for a job, but I'm not discouraged. I know I'll find something and I expected it to take some time. I'm not going to be one of those people that says there are no jobs here because if you read the paper, look on any job search website, or go to any employment service it's obvious that there are hundreds of jobs in this city. People just get bitter because they're not qualified to do any of them so they say stupid things like there's nothing but factory jobs here. I hate hearing people say things that stupid, but I like proving them wrong too so it works out okay. Things with Jess are going fantastic. I had my doubts but this is the most stable, rewarding relationship I've ever had and I honestly have no complaints. I have a woman who's caring, considerate, fun, responsible, hard-working and not only tolerates my stupid crap, but joins in and has fun with it. We've really fit into each others lives well too. My parents really like her and she's made an effort to get to know all of you, my closest friends, and be a part of our activities. Plus, we enjoy a lot of the same things, including just being lazy in front of the TV sometimes. And I guess her parents have grown to like me too. They give their fair share of grief, but apparently they think I'm good for her and they like how happy I make her, and I guess that's good enough for them. We've only been dating for four months, but we've really come along. We're very compatible, we live well together over extended periods of time (about a week), and we've both done a lot of good in each others lives. We're not getting carried away or anything. Neither of us are looking to get married or have kids for a long time. We're just very happy and enjoying it. So, yeah, I feel pretty good right now. My life is calm and peaceful, I have my friends, family and the love of a good woman and I'm keeping busy and active. Nothing has actually changed recently though, so I find it a bit strange that I'm so content. Maybe it's just the nice weather. I'm also looking forward to tomorrow very much. It's September 11th so I get to make insensitive 9/11 jokes all day. Get ready everyone, you may not want to be around me tomorrow. 4 comments|post comment

Español? Es bunghole! [12 Aug 2008|07:15pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Heroes of Mana character selection screen ] I'm back from camping and boy, did I have a less-than-fun time. It wasn't all bad of course. I was with Jess, which is always nice. We had good food, we went to a couple beaches and I got out of the house for a couple days. It was full of its annoyances too though. I could barely sleep the whole time, it was terribly uncomfortable, the bugs were unmerciful, it was pretty boring, Jess got obnoxiously drunk at one point, the boat ride there was delayed for an hour until they decided to put us on a smaller, crappier boat and I can only be around Jess' friends for short periods of time before they start to bug me. The worst part had to be the bugs though. There were an obscene amount of daddy long legs around there. They literally fell out of the trees and onto our tent. They we could always see their silhouettes walking around the outside, trying to get in or fighting with one another. I know they're not actually spiders but they're close enough to warrant a freak out from me, with my horrible fear of spiders. Anyway, I'm extremely glad to be back. I'm just not a camping person. It's a shame too because Jess is so into it, though that's something we'll have to work around. Under better conditions I don't mind too much, but I still don't care much for it. I'll be catching up on my sleep for a few days but I'm still around if anyone wants to do anything. 2 comments|post comment

Live nudes! They're fat, they're ugly, they smell like garbage, but they're nude. [08 Aug 2008|11:44am] [ mood | blah ] [ music | William, It Was Really Nothing - The Smiths ] Being an X Files fan, Sabo had to force me to go see the movie yesterday using beatings and intimidation like he usually does to get his way. So after I got the feeling in my legs back and he calmed down and sobered up a little bit, we hit the Palace. My knowledge of X Files could probably fill a piece of paper in a fortune cookie so I'm not the best person to judge the movie. However, I think I got a general idea of how it compares to the rest of the franchise by the look of disgust on Sabo's face during the movie. If someone wants to check on him that'd be great, because this movie may have made him kill himself and I can understand why. Don't get me wrong, I didn't hate it the way he did. For a while I was kind of into it. The problem is we started noticing problems with it the further in we got. I'm getting ahead of myself though. The movie starts off with the FBI searching for a missing agent out in a snowy field with the help of a former child molesting priest who's been getting psychic visions of the woman what happened to her. Take a minute now to process all that or else you'll get a headache. To help figure this guy, they call upon Scully, who for some reason is working as some kind of neural brain surgeon all of a sudden, to go track down everyones favorite conspiracy theorist, Mulder. This is when things started going downhill. I think one of the main problems is that this didn't feel like X Files most of the time, and when it did it was very half-hearted. The only time it did resemble X Files was when they had Mulder and Scully on screen, but only because they show their trademark characteristics of being a believer and a skeptic, respectively. It's old ground that was introduced in the first fucking episode of the fucking show and they didn't need to make it an issue again. And that doesn't help the fact that the dialogue between them is atrocious. It's the kind of weepy, dramatic dialogue where Mulder says some abstract one-liner, then Scully pauses a bit, probably looking in another direction, and says something equally bad. Then you copy and paste that for about 5 minutes worth of screen time and drink some drain cleaner and you have an idea of what it's like sitting through this. My second main issue is that it feels more like a CSI movie than an X Files movie. What do you think of/want to see when you hear about an X Files movie? That's right, aliens or some other paranormal phenomenon. Yes, there was a priest with visions from God, but it lent nothing relevant to the movie. The only reason they needed it was because all of the FBI agents were legendarily stupid, missing key pieces of evidence laying right next to a crime scene, or failing to check the woods next a house where a kidnapping took place. They could have axed the priest and gave the agents some common fuck sense too. There was nothing mysterious or compelling to draw you in. It's just a search for a missing woman like you would see on any cop drama. It's gets a little more messed up than that towards the end, but still not in an interesting way. All in all, this was a disappointing and unnecessary movie. It offers none of the charm of the rest of the franchise and goes for that nostalgic touch that made people like the characters in the first place, only to fail miserably. There's very little action or suspense, and when there is it's very unnecessary and out of place. The dialogue makes you pray for death, but death won't come. And the characters have all the charm of a sewage encrusted rapist. Worst of all though, is that this doesn't even give X Files fans what they want. Of course, I'm not a fan, I can only base that on Sabo's reaction and expertise. I didn't hate the movie like he did, I just didn't care about it after the first half hour. So basically what I'm saying is that even if you are an X Files fan this may not be right for you, which is the most insulting part of all. The least they could have done was rip off Fire in the Sky. Mike gives this movie: 4/10 On a side note, I'm going camping this weekend with Jess and a couple of her friends. I'm leaving tomorrow night and will be back on Tuesday. So if anyone wonders where I am...yeah. 3 comments|post comment

Beat your inner child with an aluminum bat [09 Jul 2008|11:12am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others - The Smiths ] I'm not going to beat around the bush here; Hancock was an excellent movie. It was different, it was fun, it was interesting, it was just an all-around good time. For those of you who haven't looked into this movie at all, Will Smith play John Hancock (yes, the name is intentional), a superhero who just doesn't care anymore. Sure, he'll save people now and then, or foil a robbery, or whatever. He just does it with little to no regard for the people around him or the property he damages. Not to mention he tends to do a lot of his heroics drunk. Obviously a lot of people don't like him for this but he just doesn't care. After a run-in with a man who works in publics relations, he decides to help Hancock by turning his image around and making him a proper superhero. This is the first superhero movie I've really cared for. I haven't been a big fan of any others for a lot of reasons. Some were just downright bad, others didn't show me anything new or particularly interesting. This one is refreshingly different though. The emphasis is mostly on Hancock and how he changes throughout the movie. The villains aren't what's important here and that's great because I got sick of jackholes with mysterious backstories who's only purpose was to destroy someone/something or take over somewhere. The focus is on Hancock, his origins and how he changes as he tries to turn himself around, and it's all done with a lot of humour and just the right amount of a serious tone. I won't give it a higher score because the one thing that was missing was a more detailed explanation of his origins, which I was really interested in. It's given to you but it's still somewhat vague. Ideally there'll be a sequel where it'll all be explained clearly, but until then; Mike gives this movie: 9/10 This is a unique and very fun movie that I think anyone can enjoy. I'd like to thank everyone for being so nice to Jess too, not that I expected anyone to treat her badly. She's very interested in getting to know my friends, which is why she added you all on Facebook. She thinks you're all interesting and wants to spend some more time with you (including you, Dave, the one she hasn't met yet). I really appreciate the kind welcome you've given her. She's very important to me and I'm really working hard at this relationship. We're extremely happy with each other, we have a lot in common, we act a lot alike, and so far we have a very healthy, normal relationship without any drama or bullshit to get in the way. I hope none of you mind if I bring her along for an outing from time to time. She feels comfortable around you so far and she wants to be a part of our lives. Thanks everyone. 4 comments|post comment

I'd like to report a very good looking robot prospector. [19 Jun 2008|11:07pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | A Gringo Like Me - Peter Tevis ] Summer seems to be turning into the season for actiony super hero movies and fortunately this year they're doing a little better. I don't know about you but if I had to see another Spiderman or X-Men movie I was going to go yell at cancer patients in the hospital. So far the only ones are Iron Man and the Incredible Hulk, both of which are leading to a new movie some time in the future, and both of which gave me varying levels of joy. We've covered Iron Man so let's move onto the big, lovable, green guy. I'm going to get this out of the way now and say that this is a very predictable movie. It starts with Bruce Banner living in Portugal, serperated from his loved ones and learning to control his inner meanie. Sure enough the government finds a trace of him and set out after him so they can study him and use his condition to further their own agenda. It's a bit more complicated than that since Bruce's girlfriend's father is the head of the group trying to track him down but we've both been there and seen that. He spends a bit of time trying to cure his condition and remove the gamma radiation from his body but it pretty much just goes from him hiding to them chasing him and getting beaten by a big green man with no shirt and back and forth again until the end. It throws in a new villain for a climatic final showdown at the end but you can see it coming so early that the guy might as well have followed Bruce around with a "Bad Guy" sign around his neck. I don't mind this too much though because the movie gets down to what the Hulk is all about. Like most comics, the Hulk series was a busy one, with a lot of far out shit happening to keep in interesting. It was never very complicated though, which was nice compared to how over-done a lot of other series' were. Unfortunately, this means that this movie lacks the superior story-telling and acting of the first. I'm not going to be one of the stuffy "movies are art" fags and say it was brilliant but it was better. Granted, you want to see action and destruction when you see the Hulk but it'd be nice if they at least tried to give us that and a good story. One thing I did enjoy in particular was the couple of cameos they included. Stan Lee and Lou Ferrigno, the actor who played The Hulk in the series from the 70's, appeared. Each of them were on very briefly so it would have been hard to even notice it was them but it was still pretty cool. It's hard to rate this because it wasn't a bad movie in any particular way but it wasn't compelling either. I don't feel any need to talk about it after this but I'm glad I saw it. It was just a fun little stroll down Super Hero Lane. Mike gives this movie: 7.5/10 Admittedly, I'm a little excited over where this will go too. It ties in with Iron Man and makes a mention to the 'super soldier' project that created Captain America. Over the next few years we can apparently expect to see movies about Thor, Captain American and, of course, the Avengers, a super hero group consisting of the Hulk, Iron Man, Thor, Captain American, Giant Man, and some others that don't really matter. Not to mention that in this movie we see a brief indication that one of the Hulk's future foes, The Leader, will be making an appearance. So stay tuned, super hero movies and the butchering of even more franchises are inevitable. 2 comments|post comment

Dance Commander, we love you. [14 Jun 2008|03:57pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | Dance Commander - Electric Six ] It was a lot time coming but I finally had my graduation ceremony yesterday and my time at St. Clair is at an end once and for all. My mom and Jess went with me since this was really for them. This was nothing but a formality to me. I knew I was done school after I finished my final presentation, this was just a little show to make them happy. I don't understand the appeal of seeing my graduate, I was on stage for about ten seconds and then walked back to my seat, but whatever, women just like shit like that. I'm not really sure what to say about the whole day. Eleven people from my class didn't show, we were the last class to go up there, the public speakers droned on for what seemed like a slow elevator ride to nowhere and I said my good-byes to everyone I really cared to say good-bye to. I talked briefly to Len and the gang to offically end my time with them, although I didn't leave a significant impression on them over the years. Then after partaking in the refreshments after the ceremony, I bid a final farewell to some friends and left for the last time. I always said that I hated that school, and I did, but there are things there that I appreciated. I got an education in a practical and interesting field, even if the people teaching it made it hard to get into at times. I earned a college education and gave myself a good foot-hold for the future. And I made some good friends that I'll stay friends with even after being done there, which is probably the best thing I could take away from there. If anyone would like to have a night out I'm up for it. I just want to hang onto $40 for the end of the month. Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2 is coming out in a couple weeks and I've been waiting for months for it. I'm going to treat myself to it as a little pat on the back for finishing school. I've earned it. I had some good times and plenty bad. I've made some good friends and met people I'd like to shank with a rusty bike chain. I've experiences great successes and humiliating failures, good fortune and irony. Len, a strange man who's gone through massive(ly entertaining) mood swings. Sandy, a woman with a cuckoo clock for a brain. Gord, who has a hard time speaking with his own flaccid penis in his mouth, the self-pleasing fuck. Steve, the only decent teacher I had there who always acted reasonably and didn't care if we played around on the computers. And let's not forget the others who made my time there more interesting. -Jay, who I ran into at orientation after not seeing him since grade school. He would go on to become one hell of a friend. If nothing else, at least St. Clair brought us back together. -Dave, who gave me someone to bother while I was on break or didn't feel like going back to class. -Kuli, who gave us an endless source of entertainment with his nonsense and bumbling. -Frank Graziano, who's outbursts at Kuli made some classes absolutely priceless. -Art Whited, compulsion to give everyone who takes his economics class a B helped me get through third semester a bit easier. -The man with the table, who said say much while saying to little. -Wendima, who just wouldn't leave Griff's for anything. Fight on Wendima, fight on. -African American Janitor, who made the most of his days and ours by hitting on white women and taking fixin's from Mr. Sub. -The dean, who showed us that you don't need to show up to work to earn a six figure salary and own a flying chair. And many more that aren't really worth mentioning. So let's all embrace my new-found freedom as I say good-bye to St. Clair College forever. Maybe a time will come when I cross paths with you again but until then... post comment

CHANGE PLACES!!! [25 May 2008|10:55pm] [ mood | good ] [ music | Bigmouth Strikes Again - The Smiths ] In an attempt to interrupt the string of disappointing movies lately, Sabo and myself finally got around to seeing the Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian today, and it did us both a world of good. In a sea of shit-encrusted movies I wouldn't show to torture victims, Narnia has given us something to talk about and be thankful for. The only part of the movie that really seemed odd to me was the beginning. You know the four original characters are going back to Narnia but they show up there so quickly that they may as well have dropped in with parachutes. I don't have a problem with this though. There's nothing to say before they go back anyway so they might as well just get to the point. In fact, I really appreciated how the movie didn't really waste any time on frivolous crap that didn't contribute to anything. Anyway, this time around they wind up going back to Narnia after being summoned there by Prince Caspian, who had run away to avoid being murdered and wound up being saved by Narnians. His people had taken over and Narnians were thought to be extinct, but Caspian and the others were destined to show up and change all that. There's not too much to say other than it's just a fun movie. It's a whimsical, magical couple of hours that amaze you in a way. The whole movie looks really nice, the acting is good enough that you won't really have an opinion one way or another and nothing drags on too long. The story isn't going to make anyone think too hard, it's just exciting and fun to watch. However, there was one thing it did that I absolutely love it for. There's a part where someone tries to summon an old enemy from the last movie and when you see it you start to think "Fuck! Now they're going to add twenty extra minutes just to pander to fans of the first one!" But then they say "Fuck that!" and just end it there, without bringing anyone back or adding an unnecessary fight. After seeing a movie like Indiana Jones, where everything was tacked on needlessly, this was a huge relief. Mike gives this movie: 8/10 post comment

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Stupid Dog Shit Movie [22 May 2008|12:04pm] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | Search and Destroy - The Stooges ] Mr. Michael Sabo and myself, having enjoyed the previous installment, decided to go see The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian last night....but then we saw that an early screening of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was showing soon. It's something you have to check out, it's a beloved character and series. Well, we dropped the fucking ball on this one. We were worried about this one ever since we found out it was from George Lucas and Steven Spielberg but they're quality of work really shines through here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a08PnAc76CI That's a clip from American History X. It depicts a person getting what is known as a Smiley. That is what I want to do to George Lucas and Steven Spielberg right now because they're too stupid and useless to come up with an original idea and need to continue preying off of old movies to get anything in theaters. It's the same Goddamn thing over and over with them; formulaic crap that exploits past installments with constant references and over-the-top characters and scenes. It starts out harmlessly enough. Once again we're dealing with some more foreign soldiers (in this case, Russians, with the movie being set in 1957) seeking some incredible power*. I won't shoot the movie for that, even though it's already as played out as a Tom Clancy novel at this point. Indy is kidnapped and taken to some warehouse with a shit load of crates just like we've seen before* to find one with some ancient relic inside. You know it's him too because through 90% of the movie he's not without his fedora and brown-pants-white-shirt get-up.* He manages to use his quick wits and whip* to escape but he still get involved in the whole mystery and starts learning about the secret of the crystal skull that was found. And that's all the detail I'll give you because it's just not worth following along with. The script is so tired and lazy and just prefers to go through the same motions over and over. Step 1: Learn a bit about the skull and it's power Step 2: High-speed chase Step 3: Learn a bit more about the skull Step 4: Another high-speed chase And repeat. He gets a few helpers along the way but who cares? All they do is contribute to a bullshit side story that's so pointless and minuscule that there's just no need for bring it up at all. The story is already stupid enough without all that. It runs around in every direction like it has a shard of glass stuck in it's head and doesn't know what to do. And I immediately gave up at the first mention of aliens. Yes, I spoiled something for you. Too bad, because if you can't figure out that aliens will be involved when George Lucas is on the job you should get a Smiley too. Name one of his movies made in the last twenty years where he did something unique and creative instead of just sticking to his obsession. That's right, you can't. It was as if he went to all the meetings and kept whining until they fit aliens into the script just to shut him up. You may have noticed the asterisks I put in a couple of paragraphs ago. Those are to mark points where the story just panders to Indiana Jones fans by giving them references to past movies, predictable plot twists and overdone scenes. Others include; -Villains so evil they should be in a Saturday morning cartoon -A reference to how much Indy hates snakes because, well, it wasn't clear enough before -Traveling indicated by a red line going across a map -Hearing the Indiana Jones theme played an embarrassing amount -Solving complex and ancient riddles in mere seconds using knowledge of archeology -Formulaic switching between action and non-action scenes because that's apparently they only way they can drive a script -Exaggeration used in stunts and special effects, resulting in characters surviving situations that would destroy a person's body and other dying in situations that wouldn't actually kill them Mike gives this movie: 2.5/10 I won't give it lower because I still like Harrison Ford and he didn't ruin the character of Indiana Jones, who I do like. It was the script and lack of original ideas ruining everything around him that's to blame. However, this movie did something no movie ever should; it destroyed my hope. I had hope for this movie and the franchise but this just shits all over it and panders to people by exploiting their cherished memories of past Indiana Jones movies, which, although not fantastic, were pretty good. I don't know what else to say, I'm just pissed off. 2 comments|post comment

And now you know the rest of the story. [20 May 2008|01:15pm] [ mood | relieved ] [ music | Going Underground - The Jam ] Beginning to enter my eighth week without my internship, I wondered if the marks I had received were final and ensured that I would graduate, or merely temporary until actually completing my internship. I decided to email Wieland to find out and got this response. "Hi I'm glad you've emailed Mike, as I have sent some emails to you but not received a reply. I apologize that this delay has gone on so long. I'd been assured the internships were about to begin each time I've spoken with Bob. I emailed him last Monday, but have not received a reply. He is an honourable businessman, but I think he may be a bit overwhelmed with all the tasks he has taken on for the city, and didn't realize the time commitment for internship. I will not let this week pass without giving you a definitive answer as to whether he is prepared to proceed immediately. Please let me know, Mike if you are interested in interning - as it hasn't been your fault that this delay has occurred - and we are prepared to waive internship if you wish to just pursue a job at this time. Another student in Toronto has had the same start-up problem, and we waived internship as he found a job while waiting. You may recall that we advised students to start their job search as soon as classes ended, especially as Windsor has been a very tight market. We wanted to ensure you would be graduating, and based your internship grades on your resume, and 968 participation, etc. Chris - I'd like to know what you are thinking at this time too. It was my understanding that Bob had spoken to you about the possibility of staying through the summer, once he received his grants. I have two internships available, but both require transportation to the Amherstburg area as they are with Boblo Island marketing. Please reply asap, as i'll be calling Bob in the morning. Sandy W. For those of you who don't want to read all that, what it's essentially saying is that I don't have to do my internship if I don't want to. I have the option of doing it and waiting God knows how long to start still, or I can take the marks they gave me and be done with it. Unfortunately, I don't exactly have the means to do an internship in Amherstburg, although I wish I did since my girlfriend lives out there (more on that later). I thought about it for a little while and I got a couple of opinions on the matter and came to the conclusion that it's just not worth it. This would have been very nice to put on my resume no matter what job I apply for, and maybe I would have actually learned something from it (like how to get jerked around waiting for an internship). I don't have time for this crap though. I want to get back to work and start earning real money again. I want to get a car, I want to plan moving out in the near future and I have a girlfriend to think about now. And even if I wanted to do it, who knows when this guy would get me started? I could end up waiting another two months. So I'm ending it now and cutting off all ties to that school once and for all. The graduation ceremony is next month and then I have the rest of my life to look forward to, a life free of the St. Clair run-around. So, yeah, I have a girlfriend now. Her name is Jess and she's pretty fucking awesome. When we met I wasn't planning on dating her but she told me that she likes me and wanted to try going out so I figured she deserved a chance. We've always gotten along really well and she doesn't seem to have any problems with me, so why not? I guess it just felt right. It worked out and we just went from there. She's so into me it's just baffling. I don't know what it is she sees in my exactly but I make her extremely happy and she asks for very little from me. I know part of her is just happy to have a boyfriend but she still enjoys everything about me so I know I'm doing something right. I'm letting you all know because she wants to meet my friends and it'll probably come up at some point. And I promise I won't act any different. She has to get used to everything about me, even the vulgar, offensive side. And who better to bring that out in me than you guys?! post comment

Dude, we should have done Mega Force, that was a sweet movie. [08 May 2008|01:42pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | Unhappy Birthday - The Smiths ] It's time to move past Iron Man, something I should have enjoyed greatly and didn't, to something I shouldn't enjoy greatly but do; The World Ends With You. This is a DS game I just picked up solely because of the hype it's been generating in the form of fantastic reviews across the board. I don't normally buy a game based so heavily on the opinions of others but it looked kind of cool anyway, and I had an extra $40 so why the hell not? The story revolves around a life-or-death game run by a group called the Reapers. It's held in Shibuya, a real place in Japan, but Players can't be seen or heard by anyone, even though they can see and hear the non-Players as if they weren't even in the game. Players in this game are given the task to survive for seven days by completing a mission each day. Failure to complete a mission results in them being "erased", while those who make it through the week are set free from the game. To succeed, Players are given ways to survive. First, they can (and pretty much have to) form a pact with another player who they then fight alongside with, which leads to one of the main gameplay aspects. Second, they have access to pins that grant them different psychs, which are basically just special attacks and abilities that allow them to fight. Fight who, you ask? The Noise, monsters that the Reapers summon to either get in the way or play a role in missions. You play as Neku, an anti-social fifteen year old boy who wakes up in the middle of an intersection, surrounded by people who can't see or hear him, with no memories of anything but his name. After being attacked by Noise, he forms a pact with a girl named Shiki and begins to learn about the game and what it'll take to survive. The reason I say I shouldn't like this game is because of it's connection to Japanese culture and hip-hop. I'll admit it, the music is catchy. I can't actually describe it so here's a sampling of some of the music. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geZ5rxq1v4Q It's not just the music though. The characters are trendy and fashionable, they use street talk and slang, they tag shit with graffiti, they dress in hip-hop and punk clothes, it just goes deeper and deeper in the culture. You have to take local trends into consideration because the clothes (a.k.a. armor) you wear are affected by what's popular in whatever area you're in. If the brand names you're wearing are popular you'll get pretty significant stat boosts, but if not you'll lose power. I despise hip-hop culture of course, but I really don't mind it here. Probably because it's set in a fictional setting as a tone to a very unique and fun action RPG. Since Neku has to form a pact in order to survive you end up controlling two characters at once during battles; one on the bottom screen using just the touch screen and one on the top using direction button combination like a Street Fighter game. The same enemies appear on both screen but each character fights them differently. It's very difficult to learn to manage both screen properly, but the creators have mercy on the uncoordinated and give you the option of letting the computer handle the top screen for you. I prefer to control Neku because it's incredibly fun using the touch screen and he gets to use pins to attack, and with over 300 in the game you can have a shit load more fun trying them all out and seeing what combinations work for you. The story is very interesting too. What I described above is a fraction of what happens. It becomes much more complicated and mysterious as it progresses and I really can't wait to find out what happens. On a side notes, I apparently passed all my classes, despite not having done my internship yet, or the journal I was supposed to complete chronicling my adventures there, or posting of a discussion board where I (gasp!) discuss it. I'm waiting to find out if I actually still need to do the internship though. As much as I'd love it if they just made up some marks for me and sent me on my merry way due to this ridiculously long delay, I doubt it can be that easy with St. Clair, them being the fucking cunts that they are. post comment

Sit down, or else it's ninja star in the forehead for you! [07 May 2008|11:30am] [ mood | blank ] [ music | The Voice - Ultravox ] Iron Man has always been one of my favorite superheroes, providing you use the term "superhero" loosely, seeing as he has no actual super powers. So the idea of an Iron Man movie excited me in a way no woman has in many moons. I wish I could say that my excitement and joy led up to some kind of intense climax in the middle of it all (HA HA! Double entendre.), but it didn't. It was like waiting for you favorite meal at a restaurant and when they bring it to you there's a log of shit in it and no one will give you your money back. I will say two good things about this movie right away because I want to get to the parts I didn't like. First, Robert Downy Jr. was very good in the role of Tony Stark (Iron Man's secret identity). It was an odd choice at first but he really got into the role. I would have liked to see the role played a bit different, and he could have done it I think, but he pulled it off anyway. Second, the parts where he was actually Iron Man kicked a reasonable amount of ass. Not a lot, but enough to get your attention before it runs off in the other direction. Now, the problems. I found four things wrong with this movie (feel free to share opposing viewpoints so I can laugh at you and say you're wrong). Keep in mind that I'll be judging based somewhat on how it compares to the comics. I'm not a comic book geek, I don't even read them, I just think that a movie might as well follow its source material, which this doesn't. Otherwise why not just make Iron Man fight giant robot Nazis in World War 3? Now that's taking creative license! 1. In the movie, Tony Stark is made into a fun-loving party animal who makes jokes around, sleeps with models and is drunk all the fucking time, making Robert Downy Jr. perfect for the role in retrospect. And frankly it's taking it way too far. Tony Stark is a dick, plain and simple. He doesn't care about other people and is entirely self-serving. I wouldn't crucify a movie for changing the character a bit (we should all be used to it by now) but they take it to a bit of an extreme, especially for the first half hour. 2. It drags on unmercifully in a lot of places. This is hard to say too because every scene had a point and (almost) all of it contributed something relevant. But every scene also felt like it could have been done a lot faster or not at all. Honestly, I would have liked to see some scenes shortened/removed and more time given to the fight at the end. 3. Too much emphasis is put on Tony Stark's personal life, and by "personal life" I meaning his partying and having one-night stands. This time let's ignore the fact that this isn't representative of the original Tony Stark and get into the real problem with this, mainly that nobody cares. Do you care what beautiful women Tony Stark has slept with and plans to sleep with? Or about the wild parties he goes to? Well, if you do then get a life. I'm sick of movies doing this, they throw in scenes like this because the public gets a kick out of it. I guess they didn't get enough of it in the American Pie movies so now Iron Man has to suffer. This is not why people (should) see Iron Man. Granted, Tony Stark does learn his valuable life lesson and sets out to make a difference, but diluting with all this other crap doesn't help. Just get to the point. 4. The bullshit comedy didn't do it for me either. Everyone had their witty one-liners and even the lifeless objects provided some slapstick humor that everyone in the theater laughed at like fucking chimps. A little joking around here and there doesn't hurt a movie but they lay it on so thick sometimes. It's like the writers were purposely trying to waste time. I'll go ahead and give the green light on this one but I wouldn't expect much, especially if you love Iron Man as much as I do. This didn't really do it justice. Mike gives this movie: 6.5/10 Feh! I did hear one of the funniest things ever while watching the previews though. A trailer for the new Indiana Jones movie played and the two guys behind us thought it looked pretty good and claimed that George Lucas and Steven Spielberg are geniuses. I could sit here and try to come up with something funny to say about that, making it painfully clear that I'd rather watch a bowl of shit than anything these two make. But this was funny enough on its own. I can only hope that someone gives these two gentlemen some electro-shock therapy to get them back on track. 2 comments|post comment

Take care of your asshole kids, you only get one. [01 May 2008|09:03am] [ mood | good ] [ music | Bigmouth Strikes Again - The Smiths ] I thought Fearless was supposed to be the last movie Jet Li would be in, but then he goes and stars in The Forbidden Kingdom and fucks all that up. Not that I'm complaining of course, at least it was a good movie. It's all about this kid named Jason, who, after getting mixed up in a robbery at a pawn shop he visits frequently and suffering a fatal injury, wakes up in another world that resembles feudal Japan, but not before grabbing an ancient staff from the shop and running off with it. I think it happened a bit too suddenly though, like he may as well have just dropped into that era with a parachute at the beginning of the movie. The movie progresses along pretty quickly and it has it's fair share of montages, which I made it feel like it was originally a short, twenty-six episode series and they condensed it into a movie for us. But I digress. After waking up in this new world he meets some helpful strangers and learns that the staff belongs to the Monkey King, a warrior from 500 years ago who pissed off some immortal and got turned to stone. That immortal then began oppressing people and stuff, so Jason and his helpers set off to free the Monkey King and save the day. This was where the movie scored big points with me. I love the story of the Monkey King and his journey to the west. It's been used for inspiration in a lot of things and has been used so many times in TV, movies, anime, theater, etc. I highly recommend it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Journey_to_the_West Anyway, I really liked this movie. The story did made it seem kind of kid-friendly. You know, teenage white boy finds ancient weapon and travels between worlds and makes a difference. It's like a Canadian-made anime that they'd put on YTV. Whatever though. Jackie Chan is in it and plays another role as a master of the drunken fist (see: Drunken Master a.k.a. fucking awesome movie that'll totally kick your ass), and Jet Li plays a simple monk on a mission to learn the secrets of the Monkey King's staff. And of course there was an asian girl who me and Sabo spent a large amount of time staring at for....psychological study...*cough*. So anyway, everything about the movie was very entertaining. The fight scenes were elaborate and fun to watch, the music was decent, the story revolving around the Monkey King and the immortals was sweet, it was good fun all around. The trailers made it seem a little silly but it was really a very enjoyable little movie which exploited my love for martial arts movies. Mike gives this movie: 8/10 Some people has asked about my rating system, being unclear about what a certain score means to me. It's pretty simple but let me clarify. 1-2: Complete and utter garbage, don't bother seeing it. This is kind of movie that I complain about every so often because it was just that terrible. There's a slim chance there was one brief moment that was funny, exciting, genuinely scary, etc., but don't count of it and don't expect it to save this shit burger. 2-4: Not completely terrible but I don't recommend you see it. It may have had an okay story or a few good scenes here and there but it was still very unsatisfying and didn't do anything as well as other movies could. See it at your own risk. 5-6: Not great, not terrible. It just had no real lasting effect on me. It wasn't necessarily a bad movie and I didn't regret seeing it, it just didn't show me anything that was going to stick with it after leaving the theater. Whether or not you see it should come down to your own personal preference, I won't steer you in either direction. 7-8: Very good movie that I do recommend to anyone, although I don't expect everyone to like it as much as I do. It has a lot of good scenes and good comedy, action, story, characters, etc. There was something that didn't really do it for me and made me not care about something in the movie, but not enough to make me dislike it. Go for it. 9-10: Fantastic movie, possibly perfect in every way. If you don't see it then hang yourself. There was nothing about this movie I didn't like and the only thing that separates a 9 from a 10 is how much ass it kicks. It's like if Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin were going around kicking ass. One would inevitably be better than the other but either way there's going to be some serious ass kicked. Let my widsom guide you. post comment

In celebration of Earth day, I won't club anymore baby seals for the rest of the day. [22 Apr 2008|11:47am] [ mood | blah ] [ music | How Soon is Now? - The Smiths ] I almost forgot to write a movie review for something I saw last week, 10,000 B.C. I probably almost forgot because it didn't stand out too much to me. It seems to have fallen in with that rather large group of movies that you don't hate but don't really care about one way or another. It takes place in a certain time period (who knows what year?) and follows the journey of a hunter who's village is attacked while he's away. The invaders ruin all their shit and kidnap a bunch of people so this guy sets out with some of the remaining hunters to find them and bring their people home. If you've seen commercials or trailers for it you probably know what to expect. They have to follow closely behind the invaders and protect themselves from them, deal with dangerous wild animals, enlist help along the way from other victims of the invaders, and in the end it boils down to a massive confrontation that doesn't really stand out much. I'm probably giving the impression that this is a bad movie but it's really not. It's something a little different, the acting is solid and it doesn't really drag on or waste time or anything. It's just that you've probably seen something like this before already so it doesn't leave any strong impression on you. One thing I did like though was how everyone in the movie had a solid grasp of modern day English, which was nice. More foreigners should just learn English and saves themselves a lot of trouble. Anyway, I'll give you the green light on this one, just don't expect to be talking about for days to come. Mike gives this movie: 7/10 Before the movie started I saw a preview for Wanted, a movie which I believe will be a strong contender for the worst movie ever. I don't even know how to describe it, you have to see this shit burger for yourself. It has Angelina Jolie in it though so it must be good. I mean, she's never been in any terrible movies that have spelled the end of her career. Oh, wait... And while I'm berating movies that shouldn't exist, here are three shows that I'm absolutely sick of and should be taken off the air. Family Guy - Let's give Seth Green way too much creative power and let him come up with even more overrated crap. Are you a devoted Family Guy fan? Do you quote the show or prattle on about it with your friends every day? Well I hate you then. It was bad enough when Family Guy started going downhill and people still raved about it, but then they had to give the guy Robot Chicken too, which gets way too much credit too. Anyway, isn't anyone else as sick of Family Guy as I am? Let's examine the main elements of the show. 1) Pop culture references and social commentary as seen by a person who doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. 2) Ridiculous overuse of flashback/side story things to make jokes, all of which have absolutely nothing to do with anything in the episode. 3) Over-exposure to popular characters that aren't that funny to begin with (coughcoughStewiecough), including throwing them into way too many scenes just to give them an excuse to be "funny". 4) Run-on and recurring gags that either drag on beyond the point where people get the joke and want to move on, or that are brought back in several episodes because, well, if it was funny before then logically it must be funny every time after that too, right? 5) Completely changing every character on the show to have different personalities, values, interests, dialogue and everything else that used to make them who they were. I.E.; Stewie: Evil dictator looking to take over the world and exterminate anyone who gets in his way ======> The gay best friend Lois: Peaceful, reserved housewife with strong morals ======> Increasingly wild wife with a history or drug use, promiscuity, drinking, cheating, etc., often contradicting her former self Brian: Good friend of the family and loyal sidekick ======> Hippie, liberal douche who uses pot often, complains about corporations and protests industries harmful to the environment, and has an obsession with Lois that should have been left alone after the first season Seriously, enough of this. Only newer episodes suffer from this, leading me to believe that either the people who used to work on this show are gone or Seth Green has more control over the show now, neither of which can be good. I'd enjoy older episodes more if I weren't watching them for approximately the 470th time. Can't it just stop, please? Keys to the V.I.P. - Let's not just act like dirt bags, let's make a game out of it! As far as I know no one cares about this show, but it bugs me, and anyone who has a significant understanding of me knows why. Apparently now it's okay to turn meeting women into a game by seeing who can pick up the most in one night. Why? Because women apparently don't mind being treated like Easter eggs. But wait, how come they always complain when guys don't respect them and treat them like toys for their amusement? Hmm, something doesn't add up here. I know it's just a show, and not even a popular one, but this is how things really are and crap like this doesn't help the situation. It's not just scumbags like these guys that make the world worse, it's the women who let it slide. Granted, it's just bar trash waiting for guys to hit on them anyway, but it's still not showing the better side of humanity. Seriously, ditch this bullshit. Of course we can't forget the stupidity of the show itself. These guys are such masters that they have the courtesy of passing on their golden nuggets of wisdom to regular guys like me. For example (paraphrased in my own words but still the exact same message): "Don't get discouraged when you get turned down by a bunch of women in a row. Keep going and never give up. People may not remember the failures but they'll always remember the successes." Yeah! Just keep hitting on everyone you possibly can and eventually someone will go for it. Who gives a fuck about things like standards, or mutual respect, or whether or not people have diseases, or a penis AND a vagina? Seinfeld - Let's completely fucking rape peoples eyes with a show a decade after it's over. I don't mind repeats. In fact, a lot of my TV time is devoted to repeats because some episodes were just so great you had to see them again. But come on! Think of any episode of Seinfeld. Now how many times have you seen that episode? Is that number in the triple-digits? I thought so. It's on seven times a day if you have a decent cable package, even more if you have satellite or digital cable. Yes, I know, I don't have to watch it and some people still enjoy it. I don't care though. It's taking up a lot of time which could be used to put other shows on, show that haven't been beaten into the ground. It's not even the fact that they're repeats that bothers me, it's that I've grown to genuinely hate the characters. I've been watching the same antics over and over and over again for so long that I've gotten sick of their stupid crap. I mean, if I wouldn't like someone in real life why would I like them as a TV character? I know there's value in the show, it's practically a timeless classic that will probably always be remembered in the history of television. And I know there are funny parts throughout the show that still give even me a chuckle now and then. But I don't like being bludgeoned repeatedly with a blunt object until I slowly fall asleep and die. There comes a point where repeats can stop, no matter how popular a show once was. Once technology allowing people to download their favorite episodes became available crap like this really became too much to handle. And those are my top three choices for shows to abolish from television. If you don't agree or think you can rebuttal by dismissing my favorite shows, I don't care. I'll simply wish a gypsy curse on you. 2 comments|post comment

Man, pools are perfect for holding water. [18 Apr 2008|11:37am] [ mood | blank ] [ music | Necromancer Battle - Yggdra Union ] So...no, I haven't started my internship yet. Me and Chris, the other guy in my class waiting to begin at the same place on the same work, have been sitting around for the last few weeks waiting for things to rolling. We've had interviews with him, we've been in email contact with him so we're up-to-date on what he's doing. It just doesn't involve us. The last thing we heard from him was last week and it went like this. Subject: I haven't forgotten you Gentlemen! Please bear with me as I'm working to get our project(s) started while I'm in the middle of managing a major convention in Detroit. I did speak with the Director of the Festival office and we think we can work toward a Tuesday afternoon meeting. I will keep you posted over the next two days about our next steps. Bob I can understand, he has a lot on his plate and I've been willing to wait it out and work around his schedule. I mean, fuck, I've had three weeks off, why would I complain? The convention he's talking about is the Automotive Engineers Association Convention, so yeah, it's a lot of work. I guess Chris is getting sick of waiting so he emailed Wieland and we both got a response that went a little something like this. Hi Chris and Mike I assumed your internships had started, however Bob did say he had the Automotive Engineers Association Convention in Detroit, and it's on now. I spoke at length with Bob before we both agreed on these internships, and the opportunity he is able to offer far outweighed the wait, although I must compliment you and Mike for being so patient as we work around his schedule. YES, you and Mike are both eligible for graduation. Please stay in touch. I'll call Bob early next week for an update. Cordially Sandy W. What's she saying here is that we won't be marked so heavily based on our internship journals or posts on the discussion board because we have less to write about. We have to do our work for those by the 25th so they can have our marks done on schedule, but even though we'll have considerably less to report they won't hold it against us in any way. Unfortunately, I'm still stuck here waiting, unable to look for work. I was really hoping by this point they'd just give me some other way of finishing, but at least this way I get some time off school before starting my internship and getting back to the working world. And that's my update. post comment

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